breakfast sammiches!

honestly? i don't miss those fast food restaurant breakfast sammiches because of the nastiness that they contain, but i miss the warm squishy salty chemically-flavored yumminess, as well as the plain old fun and simplicity of eating one.

but no eggs, dairy, or pork, please.

the "eggs" and bakon here are the leftovers from a failed attempt at tofu benedict (or bernaise, i think), a sauce that i had no right serving to anyone, but my trooper of a man ate two servings. maybe if it's perfected someday, you'll get to subject your own partners to it. ;)

so here goes:

seitan bakon ingredients:

seitan, cut into rounds, counting on two slices per sammich

for the marinade:
1/4 cup soy sauce
1 tbsp maple syrup
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp liquid smoke

seitan bakon directions:

preheat oven to 350f. spray a glass baking dish with oil, and lay the seitan rounds in it. mix the marinade well in a small bowl, and spoon half-to-two-thirds of it over the seitan. bake for 15 minutes, flip, add the rest of the marinade, and bake 15 minutes longer. it'll be firm and slightly crispy, but not brick-like.

note: i used very moist seitan from a batch that didn't come out so hot. if you have nice firm not-so-moist seitan, you may only need to cook this for 10 minutes a side. check after 10 minutes and see how crispy your seitan is doing.

tofu ingredients:
extra firm tofu, drained and pressed (if you like it chewy, freeze it first)
1-2 tbsp soy sauce

spices (mix in a little bowl):
2 tsp cumin
1 tsp paprika
1 tsp thyme
1/2 tsp turmeric
pinch of salt

tofu directions:

slice the tofu however you like, about 1/4-1/2" thick. i like to cut the block in half (the "short" way), and then slice the halves into bit square slices. figure one large slice or two smaller slices per sammich, so you can store unused and uncut tofu in fresh water for a week or two. spray a nonstick skillet with oil and heat at medium (or a little lower). lay the tofu slices in the pan, drizzle with a little soy sauce, and sprinkle with half-to-two-thirds of the spice mix. cook until they start to get crispy, or at least firm up, flip them, and sprinkle with the rest of the spice mix. (you don't have to, they'll have plenty of spice at this point, but i like the flavor). flip at will till they seem done. it'll probably take about 20 minutes.

sammich assembly:

if you like real food, toast your muffins to your preferences, stack two slices of bakon on the bottom, one or two slices of tofu on that, and top off with the half a muffin.

if you're like me, assemble the sammich on an untoasted muffin, and stick it in the microwave for 30-45 seconds. smother tofu in lotsa ketchup and enjoy! :)